English Facebook Status

Best Funny Quotes for Facebook Status Updates

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.

X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.

¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!

wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

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