Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ‘boy was that fun.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Every rule has an exception, especially this one.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: ‘Hold my purse.